Mitigating Common Barriers to Effective Listening

Did you know that most of us will find it difficult to stay focused during a long presentation or lengthy conversation? Some find it tricky to concentrate for the duration of a short message. Some factors in life interfere with our ability to listen which are beyond our control. However, others are quite manageable.

If we are aware of these it helps us to dial down their interference so that it is easier for us to understand the message. Read on to investigate common barriers to effective listening.

Distractions To Effective Listening

Mental, Emotional, and Other Noises

Sounds and noises unrelated to the conversation can be a significant barrier to effective listening. This can be understood to be anything that interferes with our ability to receive the message and understand it.

Interestingly, experts find there are several types of noises that we deal with when speaking with others. These are physical noise which we hear, but also psychological noise which is a mental train of thought. Physiological noise manifests in fatigue, hunger, and headaches, and semantic noises are a communication barrier caused by misunderstandings about the meaning of words.

Reduced Ability to Pay Attention

Everyone can pay attention, but we differ in the time that we can remain focused. Some observers will say that in our modern world, more and more people battle to keep their attention on a message. Social media and mobile use of games are credited with shortening our attention spans.

Remember what happens just after so many of us wake up, wait for a microwave, or stand in line? We scroll on our phones. It is a widespread response to being bored – even for the ten seconds it takes for the microwave to finish.

The way our phone’s apps are designed to be used is to condition us to want to use them more. This increased use then reduces our tolerance for the things in life that do not provide instant gratification.

Simply put, the diligent employees of Instagram, Snapchat, Tinder, and many others work hard to ensure their platforms provide triggers for our brain to release dopamine, a hormone associated with reward and motivation. By being constantly drip-fed this natural happiness drug through each like, follow, comment, notification, and reward, our thoughts and actions are reinforced to look out for these pleasures.

This is a difficult distraction to mitigate. Start with being aware of your behavior by tracking the use of your phone and putting in place measures to wean yourself off the pre-meditated and programmed addiction on which social media companies are built.

Being Biased Against Receiving the Message

Have you ever begun to listen to someone’s opinion, and you feel like you know what they are going to say before they are finished? You may even disagree with what you think they are going to say and start to list objections.

Thinking that you do not need to listen to what is being said because you already know the information poses a significant barrier to hearing it with an open mind and suspending judgment until the person has finished speaking. Note that while everyone has biases, good listeners can recognize and hold theirs back while choosing to listen.

Being Apprehensive While Listening

For those of us who fear that while we may hear the message spoken to us, we will not understand it, the term listening apprehension applies to us. We fear that we may not integrate the new information as we would like to, or that the ideas and content being described as too difficult to understand. This fear gets in the way of us hearing what is said and understanding it as best we can.

Advice On How to Practice and Develop Effective Listening Skills

Eye Contact:

Do more than face the person speaking. Look them in the eye while you listen to what they are saying. If you are the person speaking, make sure you do your best to maintain eye contact.

Non-Verbal Listening:

When listening to someone, make sure that you use your whole body to acknowledge the message as non-verbal communication is very powerful. To show the person that you are listening, and to help your mind focus on what is being said, face them, pay attention to what they are saying, and minimize distractions by focusing on the information of what is being presented (regardless of the person’s accent or your thoughts).

Suspend Judgement:

Effective listening includes the skills of removing barriers that your mind places before the information being communicated by another. Common barriers are expressed when we close our minds to the information presented. You may have heard the expression that no one is as deaf as those who do not want to hear. Well, it is true.

Further to keeping an open mind is preventing yourself from unspoken commentary on the information. When you encourage yourself to be judgmental even through slight impressions, your effective listening position is compromised.

If slight judgments will impede your comprehension, it makes sense that by interrupting or finishing someone’s sentence you have stopped listening. A helpful point to remember is that the person speaking is presenting their thoughts and feelings through language, and by preventing yourself from listening you prevent yourself from finding out what their ideas are.

Do Not Interrupt:

When someone is interrupted while they are speaking, several messages are communicated to them. Namely, the person doing the interrupting thinks they are the most important, as is what they have to say. The interrupter signals they do not care for the ideas of the other.

Consider the people in your community. Each person speaks at a different rate. Quick thinkers and those who speak quickly need to pull back and often slow down when speaking with a slower, more thoughtful communicator.

Ask Clear Questions:

When practicing effective listening and you do not understand something clearly, it is perfectly normal to ask the speaker to explain it to you. If you fear that the speaker may push past that point and the opportunity to clarify may be lost then instead of interrupting them, wait for a natural gap in the conversation and say something like, “Could you provide more information about your previous point?”

Summarize and Question:

When the other person has finished talking, make sure to ask questions that relate directly to the topic. A helpful tip is to summarize the points of the conversation so far. This will ensure that you understand each element of what is being communicated, but also enhances your memory to recall the facts later.

Channel Empathy:

Trying to feel what the other speaker is feeling is an exceptionally useful technique to improve effective listening. This is done by placing yourself in his or her situation and permitting yourself for a moment to comprehensively imagine what it is like to be him or her at that moment. While this takes effort and focus, it is a generous approach and helpful as it facilitates communication like few other techniques.

Give Frequent Feedback:

Good feedback to give in a conversation is to demonstrate your understanding of the other’s position. If their feelings are not clear then occasionally paraphrase their message, and also remember to reflect your understanding of what they are saying by nodding and affirming them by saying “okay” or “uh huh.”

Understanding Non-Verbal Cues:

Most face-to-face communication is non-verbal. When facing another we can detect irritation, boredom, or enthusiasm through the expression around the eyes, or how the mouth or shoulders are set. These cues you cannot ignore, as they are often a true reflection of the person’s response. So, as you practice effective listening remember that our words communicate only part of the message.

Christian Counseling for Effective Listening

If you’re looking for additional help with effective listening, browse our online counselor directory or contact our office to schedule an appointment. We would be honored to walk with you on this journey.