Finding Happiness and a Happy Life

The pursuit of happiness is quintessentially American. This isn’t to say that other people from across the world aren’t pursuing happiness in their daily lives. Human beings are wired to seek happiness and their well-being, and they pursue it in various ways. Placing it in our Declaration of Independence is one of the ways we’ve become associated with and have put that pursuit front and center in our lives.

Finding happiness and a happy life looks like and means different things to different people, but some common themes mark a happy life for most people. We all face challenges to attaining that happy life, and being able to name these things can help us pinpoint areas where change may need to happen to arrive at the goal.

Challenges and obstacles to a happy life

You may or may not know what will make you happy. Sometimes part of the journey of life is discovering what makes you happy, and it can be a case of trial and error. Just as you learn the kinds of things that make you happy, you can also encounter the things that make you unhappy and detract from your feeling of well-being.

Common obstacles and challenges that can hinder a happy life can include:

• Trauma and unpleasant past experiences.
• Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
• Having unhealthy or toxic relationships with others.
• Going through financial struggles such as having debt.
• Being in poverty or being financially insecure.
• Experiencing chronic or ongoing stress, whether from work, family, or other areas of life.
• Finding yourself with a lack of purpose, direction, significance, or meaning.

Additionally, having negative thought patterns such as pessimism, self-doubt, and limiting beliefs can affect your outlook and experience of life. Also, unhealthy habits such as substance abuse, not taking care of your physical health, and self-destructive behaviors can contribute to unhappiness. Loss and grief, lacking social connections, and experiencing marginalization can also lead to hopelessness.

Social comparisons and societal pressure can lead you to feel inadequate or pressured to conform, while fear and anxiety about the future, as well as neglecting your own needs, boundaries, and well-being also undermines the pursuit and fulfillment of a happy life. Lastly, setting unrealistic expectations and having unattainable standards or expecting perfection can also contribute to a lack of satisfaction in life.

We all face challenges and obstacles to our happiness. The key is to be able to identify them, and then start putting the work in to address them. Some challenges can be addressed through changing your circumstances, for instance, if you’re in an unhealthy personal or work situation. Leaving that situation can make a world of difference, and it could be the move you need to make.

At other times, what needs to change to help you overcome is to adjust your expectations or outlook. Sometimes, as Shakespeare’s Hamlet put it, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” You might not be able to alter your circumstances, but it’s possible to think differently about a situation and to even appreciate the blessings of a difficult situation.

The shape of happiness

What makes you happy? Depending on who you ask, you’ll get a different answer. However, there are some key elements to what makes us happy. It’s rare to find yourself in a perfect situation, and often happiness is about being able to make the most of what you do have. Being happy will often not be about your circumstances but about how you react to or your mindset and coping skills in whatever circumstances you find yourself in.

Happiness can take the following forms:

Being fulfilled

You feel content and satisfied with your life, accomplishments, and relationships. One way to arrive here is to avoid making comparisons between yourself and other people’s lives.

Positive emotions

Happiness may be found by focusing on experiences that bring you joy, gratitude, love, and other positive emotions more frequently than negative ones. It can take a concerted effort to focus on these things and to cultivate them in your life. You need to pay attention to what you feel and understand how various situations or experiences affect you.

Finding meaning and purpose

Having a sense of direction, and significance, as well as knowing the impact your life is making can all be key ingredients to your happiness. Ask yourself what your values are, who you admire, and what you’d consider a life well-spent. Questions such as these can guide you toward what has meaning for you, and what you value.

Enjoying well-being

Being in good physical, mental, and emotional health can be a big boost to your happiness.

Healthy relationships

A significant indicator of a person’s overall well-being is how healthy their relationships are. Having and nurturing strong, supportive connections with family, friends, and your community will promote your chances of happiness.

Personal growth

Life is about growth. That happens in different ways, and it includes developing yourself through continuously learning, gaining new experiences through travel, making new friends, and aiming to become the best version of yourself.

Developing resilience

Life can be hard, and things don’t line up perfectly. Having the skills to cope effectively with challenges, setbacks, and difficult emotions, makes it possible to be happy even when things aren’t going according to plan. One such skill is practicing gratitude and appreciation, which helps you focus on the good things in life and being thankful for what you have.

A healthy work-life balance

Creating healthy boundaries to have harmony between your professional and personal life can help promote your well-being and happiness.

Living in the present

Being present and learning to enjoy the moment while finding happiness in everyday experiences can make a huge difference.

Help for the journey

Finding your happiness and a happy life is an ongoing process that can take time. You can take this journey by yourself, but you can also talk with someone. Reach out to our office today at Encinitas Christian Counseling in California, and we will set up an appointment with a therapist in Encinitas who can help you better understand yourself and what will make you happy.