9 Benefits of Couples Counseling

Couples counseling is a form of relationship therapy where a couple meets with a trained therapist to work through their relationship to address any issues that may be present in the relationship. The couple can be joined by other couples in group therapy if they so choose.

Ultimately, the point of couples counseling is to spend focused time with the guidance of a trained individual who understands the dynamics of human relationships so that the couple can get the most out of their relationship.

Couples counseling is for couples in just about any stage of their relationship and should not be considered merely a last resort that you turn to when all else fails. Some couples use counseling to stay on top of things because the tools and skills acquired through couples counseling are always helpful in relationships.

9 Benefits of Couples Counseling

There are many benefits to couples counseling. Here are a few of them.

1. Provide a check-up for your relationship

Relationships go through their seasons, whether they are joyful or hard. Those times can draw a couple closer to one another, or they can create some emotional distance. The individuals in a relationship continue to grow through their daily interactions with friends, family, neighbors, colleagues, and so on. Dreams change, goals shift, passions develop, and much else happens.

It’s easy to miss one another in the busyness of everyday life, so carving time out for counseling gives a couple a safe space to figure out where they are as individuals with the help of a counselor. Your relationship may not be in any kind of distress, but regular counseling can function the way regular car maintenance does by helping to stay on top of things and addressing any issues before they require serious intervention.

2. Improved communication

As we get more comfortable in our relationships, it’s possible to start taking things for granted or to settle into unhelpful patterns. Effective communication is something we must constantly work on – it doesn’t happen by itself. We might assume we know what our partner wants or needs, and thus settle into a pattern of lack of communication.

Either way, a couple can end up missing one another. Couples counseling helps a couple to hone their skills so that they can be empathetic listeners. In this way, each partner feels heard when they speak, and their needs, concerns, and aspirations are known.

3. Deepened intimacy

For many couples, intimacy isn’t an issue at the beginning, whether we’re talking about emotional or physical intimacy. The spark of attraction is usually so strong that often the risk is that they will become more intimate than the level of commitment justifies. For a variety of reasons, including work, illness, getting older, or family obligations, a couple can begin drifting apart.

That emotional and physical connection can be lost, and couples counseling allows a couple to deepen their emotional connection by relearning how to open themselves to one another sharing their hopes, fears, and dreams, and learning exercises designed to reignite physical intimacy.

4. Reconnect and renegotiate commitments and goals

There can be an enormous distance between where you started your relationship and where you find yourselves now. When a couple begins their journey, they may their commitments to one another, and at times those need to be revisited and strengthened.

You may have planned that one of you would go to school while the other works, and then once finished you would switch roles. Or you may have committed to move closer to one set of parents early on while intending to move later, once the children arrived. Those plans may have worked out, or circumstances may have intervened, and things didn’t work out as planned.

Couples counseling allows you to talk through those commitments or work through disappointments that may have arisen due to unfulfilled goals. Sometimes those goals and commitments may need to be renegotiated with new circumstances in mind, and couples counseling can provide you with a safe space to do that with a trained guide.

5. Learn to deal with conflict in a healthy way

Conflict in a relationship is inevitable. When two fully formed individuals live and do life together, there will be disagreements and differences of opinion. You may have agreed about some things before you got together, but people and their opinions and perspectives grow and change, and that can generate areas of conflict.

These may be about children, how to handle your money, where to live, how to use your leisure time and so on. Being able to handle conflict in a healthy way thus becomes imperative.

How do you disagree without denigrating the other person, their opinion, upbringing, or solution to a problem? How do you remain calm and keep anger at bay, so you don’t harm one another with stray harmful words? How do you listen empathically and give the benefit of the doubt to your partner? Couples counseling provides you with the tools to be a safe space for one another so that conflict does not tear you apart or undermine the relationship.

6. Learn problem-solving skills

When confronted with an issue, two people will approach it differently, and those two ways may not be compatible or equally productive. Being in a relationship, a couple must learn how to handle a problem together in a way that harnesses the strengths of both.

One partner may be better at analyzing a situation and creatively figuring out what needs to be done, while another is more decisive and knows how to go about solving the problem promptly. These and other problem-solving skills can be learned or developed towards maturity with the help of a trained counselor.

7. Become more self-aware (and build self-esteem)

Each person has varying levels of self-awareness. When you spend time in therapy, the therapist will ask questions that will help you reflect on who you are as a person. Therapy gives us the space to discover ourselves and for our partners to learn more about themselves too.

When we become aware of who we are, how we react to certain situations, and the gifts we have, we not only become self-aware, but we can build our self-esteem as well. While we may learn of the unhelpful ways, we relate to ourselves and others, therapy also helps a person develop an appreciation for all that they bring to the table as an individual made in God’s image.

8. Overcome specific issues (porn addiction, sexual intimacy, jealousy)

In the beginning, we mentioned that couples counseling isn’t only for addressing issues that are affecting a relationship, but it can be used as a check-up for a relationship. While that’s true, it’s also true that counseling is useful to address specific issues that are affecting the relationship.

A wide variety of issues come before therapists, and due to their training, they have a deep and extensive skill set to address these. Whether a couple is dealing with infidelity, jealousy, addiction of one sort or another, problems with sexual intimacy, and much else, couples counseling can help them address these concerns in a safe environment where both can feel heard and begin moving toward a healthier relationship.

9. Strengthen your relationship and bond

By fostering trust and openness, effective communication, and aligning the goals of the couple, couples counseling can help a couple to develop a deeper appreciation for one another, strengthening the relationship and the bond between them.

When a couple can air their thoughts and unresolved feelings, they can resolve difficulties before they become impossible to handle. Discovering unhealthy behaviors and directing them to healthy ends nurtures and strengthens the relationship against shocks every relationship experiences.

Couples therapy is a helpful tool for all people, whether your relationship is in distress or not. Doing life together is complicated, and couples counseling can give us the tools we need to do it well.

Whether we are just starting our relationship, or we’ve been together for decades, consider couples counseling to help your relationship flourish and continue to thrive. Taking the time to invest in your relationship and prepare it for life’s hardships is a sign of your ongoing commitment and care for one another.