The Best Time to Get Marriage Counseling

Marriage is a long series of challenges mixed with some of life’s greatest joys. If the challenges are too much for you to handle right now, you aren’t alone in your struggle. You can find practical help and hope for your relationship through marriage counseling.

You may have drifted apart like so many other couples, or you may have experienced a serious breach of trust. You may be at a dead-end in a conflict over finances, parenting, or some other issue. A caring Christian counselor can help you overcome the roadblocks to a satisfying relationship with your spouse. Your counselor can also help you head off problems that you can foresee, such as the empty nest or one spouse’s retirement.

If you feel like there is no hope for your marriage, know this: thousands of couples have had their marriages saved from the brink of destruction through marriage counseling. A professional, third-party perspective from a Christian counselor is an invaluable resource for making improvements to your marriage. There is healing available to you and your spouse no matter how tough your problems may seem.

Common Reasons for Marriage Counseling

Every marriage eventually runs into problems, whether it is facing the challenges of life, or if problems result from within the relationship. In either case, the counselors at Encinitas Christian Counseling will offer Bible-based wisdom and encouragement. We will also offer practical help for your unique situation.

Here are a few of the many reasons our clients have sought marriage counseling:

• Communication problems
• Financial disagreements
• Sexual intimacy issues
• Parenting conflicts
• Infidelity
• Substance abuse
• Anger
• Abuse

When you attend marriage counseling sessions, you will not only gain practical help, but you will also receive affirmation and encouragement. Counseling is a judgment-free zone where your value will be upheld. Your counselor will make suggestions for how you can work on your part of the problem while you gain understanding with your spouse.

Marriage counseling helps uncover the root issues that contribute to behavior patterns. It’s easy for marriage partners to become blind to the truth about themselves and their partners, and it’s the counselor’s job to reveal those blind spots. Once you gain greater awareness of the problem’s roots, you can solve problems and move forward.

The Best Time to Receive Marriage Counseling

Most couples seek marriage counseling as a last resort when problems have headed on a downward spiral for years. Counseling has helped many couples overcome even at those low points. But it may be even better to receive counseling earlier on.

If you sense that something is off with your spouse, you may be tempted to handle it on your own. Yet few people have the insight and objectivity to address marriage problems without outside help. By reaching out to a marriage therapist at the first sign of a problem, you will strengthen your marriage.

Marriage counseling isn’t a quick fix, whether your problem is relatively minor or serious. It takes several sessions for you to build trust with your therapist, and time for your therapist to identify the core issues and best plans for healing. Plan to make a minimum commitment of several sessions with your spouse to receive the maximum benefits from marriage counseling.

Even if you aren’t sure that your marriage will make it, marriage counseling can help you see the issues more clearly and work with more information. Your spouse may not have responded favorably to your requests but may respond well to working with a counselor. There is always hope for you when you seek help from a trained counselor.

The Nuts and Bolts of Couples Therapy

Many spouses want to know what to expect in a marriage counseling session. Here is a breakdown of what you can expect, and an explanation of what you will be expected to provide.

First, your counselor will ask each of you to describe the main relationship problem from your own perspective. Your counselor will listen to both perspectives and encourage you to actively listen to your partner’s feelings and desires. The focus will be on improving your relationship rather than treating individual problems.

After determining the root causes of your marriage problems, your counselor will lay out a clear objective for bringing you back together as a team. You and your spouse may receive “homework” assignments at the end of each session, which you will put into practice and report on at the next session. These assignments will be designed to strengthen your bond and improve your communication.

One route your counselor may take is emotionally focused therapy. In this style of therapy, you will discuss what feelings the marriage dynamics stir in you, and you will listen to your spouse’s description of their feelings. With guidance and practice, you both can learn to respond with different emotions that will build up your marriage instead of tearing it down.

Many marriages suffer from poor attachment styles. Your counselor will identify each partner’s attachment style and encourage better attachment health through discussion and exercises. When you have secure attachment styles, your marriage will be blessed with greater trust and peace.

To get the maximum benefits from marriage counseling, you need to commit to the full process. This may require several months of sessions, which is a significant investment of time and money. You’ll also need to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt and approach sessions with an open mind.

If you engage with a humble, honest, teachable spirit, you will get much more out of your counseling sessions. A willingness to listen to your spouse without getting defensive will be a great benefit for your marriage.

After several weeks of marriage counseling, many couples experience greater insight into their problems. They also gain tools for how to handle problems productively. Marriage counseling has been life-changing for many couples that we’ve counseled. It can be a huge blessing for you and your spouse.

Is Christian Marriage Counseling Right for Us?

It’s difficult for most couples to have calm, respectful discussions about conflicts and challenges. Many of us never learned how to handle conflict in a productive way. Marriage counseling can facilitate discussions like these in a safe, private atmosphere. Your counselor will serve as a professional arbitrator who can equip you with Bible-based wisdom.

You may have had several stacks against you when you got married. Couples who married young, face financial issues, come from different faith backgrounds, or have divorced parents often have significant marriage problems.

If your relationship frequently has problems like blame, contempt, withdrawal, or anger, you may be suffering under constant pressure. Fortunately, marriage counseling can help you overcome these obstacles and strengthen your faith.

If you and your spouse have been locking horns over an important issue, counseling can help you understand one another’s viewpoints. Many marriage issues do not have a right or wrong answer, such as where you choose to live or how you handle finances. However, you can resolve deadlocked issues with trustworthy help from a Christian counselor.

If your marriage is in crisis, counseling can serve as a life raft to get you both back on the same page. Many of our clients have successfully navigated affairs, addictions, losses, and traumatic events by receiving marriage counseling. These issues need not destroy your marriage, but you must reach out for help. You can find new hope for your marriage in the counselor’s office.

Getting Started

Are you ready to take the first steps toward a healthier marriage? Contact us at Encinitas Christian Counseling to set up an appointment today. We will meet with you and your spouse to get your marriage back on the right track.