6 Ways to Find the Family Support You Crave

Every family is a collection of fragile hearts in various emotional states. Some hearts have been trampled on by unfortunate circumstances. Some hearts have been bruised by letdown after letdown. Some hearts have been paralyzed by fear and held back by their inner critic. Some hearts have been tormented by the people they trusted most.

Some hearts have been overlooked by their family members because they are unsure of how to help them deal with the losses and struggles of life. Do they talk about them? Do they give them space? What kind of support should they offer?

Supporting your family takes various forms:

• When a husband wants to visit his sick grandfather or visit his parents for the first time in over a year, then his wife should try to respect his wishes.
• When a child is struggling with his self-image, he needs his parents to help him work through those insecurities rather than call him weak or silly.
• When a mother is mourning her miscarriage three months after she lost her child, then she needs the support of her family rather than their judgment. She needs to hear “I am here for you,” rather than, “You need to get over it.”
• When a child is called “fat” or “dumb” by one of their classmates, it is taking the time to talk to them about their hurts and about how dark the world can be. It is taking the opportunity to teach them how to make a difference and be a light.
• When a middle schooler does not make the sports team that they had their heart set on, they need the care of a family member rather than mockery.
• When a high school junior is preparing for his first job interview, it is helping him prepare and going the extra mile to use it as a learning experience for future endeavors.
• When a high school senior just received word that he was not accepted to his dream college and feels completely defeated, he needs the support of his family to find new hope and new dreams and realize his worth is not based on that rejection.
• When a new mother is dealing with postpartum depression, she needs her husband and family’s support to seek the help she needs and to be allowed to feel without judgment. She might need a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold as she cries.
• When a father is passed over for his work promotion or a mother feels her job as a stay-at-home-parent goes unnoticed, the family tries to encourage and uplift them during a potential identity crisis.

While the world continues to change and evolve, it is important to remember that Jesus offers hope in every phase of life. He has also gifted us family – those whom we should love and support through every phase of life.

“Stick to the basics, hold on to your family and friends – they will never go out of fashion.” – Niki Taylor

Family support can mean:

• Encouraging a family member to schedule a counseling session
• Sitting with a family member as they share their heartache and just want to talk through it
• Telling your husband or wife you would be happy to accompany them to their counseling session if it would make them feel more comfortable
• Supporting a family member’s dream by being the one to show up and cheer them on
• Supporting a family member through major losses and encouraging them through their comeback attempts
• Trying to understand a family member’s struggle rather than pass judgment
• Caring about a family member’s spiritual and emotional state and going above and beyond to show the love of Christ

As we attempt to nurture our family gardens, it is important to take a step back and refocus your family priorities:

“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” – Mother Teresa

6 Ways to Find Family Support

1. Do not let your schedules be so overwhelmed that you do not spend quality time together.

An overwhelmed schedule might lead to an underwhelmed soul and loss of family connection. It is important to prioritize time with family by taking time to be there for one another, have important and tough conversations, and be there enough to know when someone is off or might be going through something but is unsure of how to voice their struggles.

Husbands need to make time to date their wives. Parents need to prioritize quality time with their children where they are not distracted by work phone calls, meetings, and constant to-dos. Children need time to connect with their parents so they can open up about what is going on in their world. Never take for granted the opportunity to show up at your children’s events and support them through each milestone in life.

2. Eat a family meal together with no outside distractions.

Family time is truly the foundation for a child’s future. It is their support system. It impacts their belief system. Family is the building block and support system of their hopes and dreams. It is that push as to whether to fight for the dreams or sit back and say that they cannot achieve it. E.A. Buccianeri said, “How often have the greatest thoughts and ideas come to light during conversations with the family over the evening dinner?”

Taking intentional time to share meals with no outside distractions can mean having those heart-to-heart conversations, and the time to ask questions and share how things are going in everyone’s life. That time at home might be the foundation of what keeps a child talking once they have left the nest.

3. Do simple things.

A parent needs to realize the impact of simple things while raising children. Letting a toddler help with little things around the house, making pancakes as a family, and having storytime before bed are all simple and impactful things you can do to spend quality time with your child.

Taking vacations is fun and memorable, but those mundane things that you do in the day-to-day will stay etched in your child’s heart forever. Taking the time to teach and nurture them in anything they do will help give them the confidence they need for years to come.

4. Attend church together.

It was once said that “Church is not something you go to, it’s a family you belong to.” Church should not just be a to-do list item that you check off every week. Church should be a place where your family learns together, serves together, and grows together. Attending church and Bible studies, serving as a family, and praying together and for one another are crucial for family support.

This teaches our children that life is more than money. Life is about so much more than world accolades and titles. God intended for us to show compassion toward one another, love others regardless of their struggles, and to welcome one another with arms wide open. We need the encouragement and support of the church.

Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. – Hebrews 10:25

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. – Romans 12:10

5. Accept one another.

It is important to realize that every single person faces their own battles. They might look different than yours, but it is important not to downplay their struggles or write them off. It is important to support someone through their struggles, pray for them and over them, ask questions, check in on them, and try to help them navigate the road to hope.

A family needs to accept one another as they are – if someone is struggling with anxiety, depression, or feelings of insignificance – it is crucial to accept them and love them where they are, not where you think they should be.

“The older I get, the more I believe that the greatest kindness is acceptance.” – Christina Baker Klin

6. Try to understand your family’s struggles.

Taking it a step further than simply accepting someone, we must also try to understand their struggles and help them in their healing journey. If a mother is battling postpartum depression, if a father feels like he is failing because he was not promoted, if a teenager did not get into their dream college – try putting yourself in their shoes. Let them feel and be there as they navigate what to do next.

We must take time to get to know our family members beyond the one or two-word conversation exchanges when you ask, “how are you doing today.” We must care more about our children’s spiritual and emotional health than what brand of clothes we can afford for them. A husband and wife must continue to get to know and support one another and not simply become roommates or business partners.

Life is a journey that is best faced with the genuine support of family – those who will love and support one another through the mountain top seasons and in the valley seasons. We are stronger when we are together – so take time to get to know your family members on a deeper level, support their dreams, ask them how they are doing, and admit your own struggles.

If you know a family member going through a difficult time or you are facing difficulties of any magnitude, then today is the day to schedule your session. You can attend as a family or individually, depending on what is most comfortable for you.